You Know You are on the Gold Coast When…

You know you are on the Gold Coast when you are woken up at 4.30am by sunlight and chirping, no, screeching birds.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when the only way you get a job interview is by removing your University degree from your resume.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when your neighbours park on the council strip or footpath, although there are plenty of free spaces on the street.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you, having finished a law degree, you apply for a barister position, only to find out that you return to work as a barman, in the same bar where you worked whilst supporting yourself at University.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you see an entire family - father, mother and child, walking down the street without shoes on.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when your next door neighbours, the 10 of them in that 2 bedroom unit, are under 22 years old.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when your x-girlfriend, at 25, has 3 children and 2 marriages under her belt.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when the Surf Life Saving Clubs provide food and drink at Gordon Ramsey prices.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you buy the local newspaper, only to find out that there are more advertisements than articles.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you are out in a bar and you hear the sound of monkeys and cave men - a group of girls and guys, flirting.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when your favourite rugby league team is the Seagulls, no, the Gladiators, no, I mean, the Titans.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when your boss says, “In this company, we don’t use email. I want everything printed.”



You know you are on the Gold Coast when on Easter Friday you go to the Casino for a beer and to play the pokies, only to find that it’s closed – for religious reasons?



You know you are on the Gold Coast when the only people you see dressed in suits are real estate agents.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you they build a train service to Brisbane that they compare to the New Delhi express.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when all your friends, acquaintances and family work in sales or small business.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you go out for dinner at Broadbeach, only to find that the cheapest meal is $35. Yummmmm, Spaghetti Bolognaise.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when your yellow recycling bin is full after 2 days, though the Council won’t collect it for another 2 weeks.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when the weather report predicts 27 degrees and a few showers.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you apply for a job, only to find out that you have to complete a 5 page Key Selection Criteria, effectively having to re-write your own resume.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when fashion is no shirt, board shorts, and sometimes, thongs.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when on Australia Day, there are more fights with police than barbeques.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when you go to the Spit fish market on a Sunday morning for fresh fish, only to find that it comes from Vietnam.



You know you are on the Gold Coast when talking about the above comments and the answer is “the Gold Coast is like that.”


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